Would You Save My Soul Tonight?
by OcelotKitten
Summary: Romano goes to Corday's house to confess . . .
1. Author's Notes, Disclaimer, etc

Summary: Romano goes to Corday's house to confess . . .

AN: I love Romano's snarkiness, but I'm fascinated by what the sarcasm hides. I was listening to the song, and I was struck by how much it reminded me of Romano and how he feels about Corday. In this, our dear Rocket is still whole, Mark is still dead and Ella is present, so it's sort of an AU Season 9.

I did my best to keep Romano in character, but I'm not sure how much I succeeded. *sweats*

This was inspired by little_miss_writer's "In From the Cold", and Rocket Launcher's "High Risk Behavior". I have no intent to plagiarize, ladies. I am in awe of your wonderful work, and I only hope I can pull this off as well as you did.

Although this is meant to be after Season 8, Carter will be more like he was at the beginning of the show because I can't stand Pissy!Carter.

Disclaimer: The song is "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias and the title is from the song. I do not own the song, nor do I own anything connected to ER, except my enjoyment of all things Cordano. I am not making any money, this is simply for enjoyment.

Caveat: I am not a doctor. My scanty medical knowledge comes solely from watching ER and spending more time gawking over Luka and Carter than actually paying attention to what they were doing. I've done my best to keep the medical stuff accurate, but let me know if anything seems too ridiculous.

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Would You Save My Soul Tonight?

By OcelotKitten

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Let me be your hero

Would you dance

If I asked you to dance?

Would you run

And never look back?

Would you cry

If you saw me crying?

And would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?

Would you laugh?

Oh, please tell me this

Now would you die for the one you loved?

Hold me in your arms tonight

I can be your hero, baby

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

Would you swear

That you'll always be mine?

Or would you lie?

Would you run and hide?

Am I in too deep?

Have I lost my mind?

I don't care . . .

You're here tonight

I can be your hero baby

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

Oh, I just want to hold you

I just want to hold you

Am I in too deep?  


Have I lost my mind?

Well, I don't care . . .

You're here tonight

I can be your hero baby

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away


	2. Chapter 1

REVISION: I was fully intending to simply let this story go unfinished. My feeling was that if TPTB were going to kill off Romano, then my writer's block could only worsen and it would never get finished. However, having watched "Freefall" and having read some other fans resolves to continue their stories, I am inspired to continue, if only to give TPTB a big fat middle-finger.

The revision of the first nine chapters is primarily going to entail minor changes, with very few changes to the story itself. New chapters will be forthcoming as my muse allows.

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When the doorbell rang, Elizabeth's first impulse was to ignore it. It was late and after the difficult day she had had, she was in no mood for visitors. However, when the bell rang again, seemingly more insistently, she sighed resignedly and went to answer it.

She opened the door and squinted out into the dark. "Hello?" she called, "Is anyone there?" There was no response and she was about to close the door when a figure materialized out of the gloom. It was so sudden that she gasped in surprise, even more so when she realized who it was. 

"Robert? What on earth are you doing here?"

When Romano didn't move or speak, Elizabeth took a closer look at him. His eyes were red-rimmed and his jaw was ghosted with unshaven stubble. He was still wearing the same blue scrubs he'd been wearing at the hospital that day. Concerned, he asked, "Robert, is something wrong?"

The question seemed to jolt him out of his reverie and he started, seemingly surprised to find her standing before him, for all that he was at her house. "Wrong? Um, no. Nothing's wrong, Lizzie," he muttered, with none of his usual eloquence, "I'm sorry to bother you so late at night, I'll be going."

He turned to leave, but Elizabeth caught at his arm. She could tell something was eating at him, and she was reluctant to let him leave before she found out what it was. Romano stopped and turned back to face her.

Elizabeth said softly, "It's no bother, Robert. Something is obviously troubling you, and I would like to help if I could." He hesitated only another moment before he acquiesced and followed her in. He muttered something that sounded like, "I doubt it."

"Would you like tea or coffee, Robert?" Elizabeth asked, going into the kitchen.

"Coffee."

"How do you take it?"

"Black," he said as he sat at the kitchen table. Elizabeth observed him out of the corner of her eye as she poured the coffee. Tension fairly radiated from him, and he was clenching and unclenching his hands as if unsure what to do with them.

Elizabeth set the mug of dark, fragrant brew before him and her hand brushed against his. He jumped as if her touch was electric, then blushed and looked embarrassed at his response. Elizabeth restrained a giggle at the sight.

'I wouldn't have believed the man even knew how to blush!' she thought with glee. Elizabeth sat down in the other chair and waited patiently for him to speak. Romano stared pensively into his coffee for a long time before he finally spoke quietly, "Lizzie, you know me. Probably better than anyone else at that God-forsaken place they call a hospital. You know I've never been very good at expressing my feelings. Positive ones, anyway. Whether I was good at it or not, I've always tried to be honest with you, but there is something I've never told you. I've tried to hold it in, but I can't go on with it any longer. I have to know what you say so I can move on."

Romano still had not looked up at her, and Elizabeth felt a nameless shiver of dread crawl up her spine. She felt suddenly sure that the next words to come from him would somehow change her irreversibly. He finally looked up from his untouched coffee and found her eyes. Elizabeth was stunned by the haunted, desperate look in those chocolate-brown depths.

He hesitated a moment more, but then he blurted, "I love you, Lizzie." Shell-shocked, Elizabeth froze. Her disbelief must have shown, because Robert's face, which had been so open and hopeful just seconds before, crumpled into intense disappointment. He snapped, "All right, Lizzie. I can see how you feel about it."

He stood and headed for the door. Regaining her equilibrium, Elizabeth dashed after him, and caught him at the door with a hand on his shoulder. "Wait, Robert," she said. He stopped without turning back to her, defeat written in the slump of his shoulders, "What is it, Lizzie?"

"Robert, I . . . I value you as a friend, you must know that," she said, desperate to erase the anguish on his face, "But, I . . . I just don't . . ."

"You just don't feel the same way? That's fine," he said quietly, "I understand. Good night, Elizabeth." Then, as suddenly as he had arrived, he was gone.

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AN: *cringes* Was it terrible?


	3. Chapter 2

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'How infuriatingly typical,' Elizabeth thought peevishly, 'It's just like him to breeze in, create a bloody great mess and then leave it for others to sort out.' She sank lower into the hot water of the bubble bath. A small part of her mind offered the opinion that perhaps it wasn't so great a dilemma after all, but she hurriedly squashed it. 'Even if,' she thought, 'IF I reciprocated his feelings in any fashion, a relationship would never work.' The gossip mill at County was a hale and hearty beast, and Elizabeth knew that if any word of a relationship got out, there would be hell to pay. She groaned. Thoughts of County had reminded her: every procedure scheduled for tomorrow would be with Romano. Briefly, she entertained the notion of calling in sick, but she resolutely pushed it aside. She would have to face him eventually, and the sooner the better. Better that he didn't have any reason to call her coward.

A cry from Ella's room interrupted her relaxing, and Elizabeth hurriedly finished and threw her robe on to check on her daughter. Ella was standing up in her crib, and she let out a squeal at the sight of her mother. Elizabeth asked, "What is it, love?"

"Watah, mama," Ella said, pointing to the sipper cup of water that Elizabeth always kept on the dresser. Elizabeth retrieved it and handed it to her. The toddler drank happily and handed the cup back. Elizabeth asked, "Do you want anything else?" Ella shook her head and laid back down. Elizabeth covered her up with the blanket as the little girl grabbed her favorite stuffed bear and snuggled it under her chin.

Elizabeth stood stroking Ella's hair as the child fell back to sleep, and she was hit by a pang of sorrow that Mark wouldn't be around to see his baby grow up. It wasn't a new feeling, but with Romano's declaration fresh on her mind, it was particularly strong. Elizabeth indulged in a moment of self-pity, for herself and for Ella, herself for losing her husband, and Ella for losing her father. 'Ella could have a father,' a traitorous part of her mind whispered.

Elizabeth shook her head sharply and squashed the errant thought. This was ridiculous! She left Ella's room, still shaking her head. While it was true that she wanted Ella to have a father, Romano was the last person she would have considered for the job. 'Well,' she concede, 'he'd be before Dale Edson.' She automatically began comparing Romano to Mark, ticking off the points mentally. Mark had been easy to get along with, and Romano was anything but. Mark had been loving and gentle, Romano was brash, arrogant and unkind. And yet . . . there was an element of gentleness to him as well. Elizabeth had seen it first hand. It showed itself when he dealt with children and his dog. 

Elizabeth flopped into her bed and pulled the sheet up over herself as she snorted. It was hardly the basis for a relationship! The image of Romano's face sprang, unbidden, to her mind. She was unable to forget the look of hope that had been so naked in his expression after he had professed his feelings. She sighed. She hadn't been merely trying to make him feel better when she had said she valued him as a friend, she truly did. No matter how he behaved to others, he had never been cruel to her. Caustic and rude, yes, but never cruel. Elizabeth rolled over restlessly. Just as she was wondering how long it would take her to fall asleep, she drifted off. 

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Elizabeth knew it was a dream immediately, and she struggled to stay asleep to savor it. Nimble fingers slid over her body, and she arched up to them. The night exploded into feeling. Her hands skated up a broad back, caressed broad shoulders. A voice came out of the darkness, "I love you, Elizabeth."

"Robert . . ."

Elizabeth jerked awake, the name dying away on her lips. She sat bolt upright and gasped. The dream had been intense, and disconcerting to say the least. Why was she dreaming about Romano? Apparently the theory that stress led to sexual dreams had some weight to it, but it was hardly what she needed. Shaking her head to clear it, she glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 1:30. Only an hour worth of sleep . . . Elizabeth slumped back down on the bed with a groan. It looked like it was going to be a long, hard night.

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AN: I'm not happy with this chapter, but despite my best effort, it refused to improve. I'll probably end up coming back and revising it after I get the rest of the story up.


	4. Chapter 3

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'How typical,' Elizabeth thought peevishly, 'It's just like him to breeze in, create a bloody great mess and then leave it for others to sort out.' She sank lower into the hot water of the bubble bath. A small part of her mind offered the opinion that perhaps it wasn't so great a dilemma after all, but she hurriedly squashed it. 'Even if,' she thought, 'IF I reciprocated his feelings in any fashion, a relationship would never work.'

The gossip mill at County was a hale and hearty beast, and Elizabeth knew that if any word of a relationship got out, there would be hell to pay. She groaned. Thoughts of County had reminded her: every procedure scheduled for tomorrow would be with Romano. Briefly, she entertained the notion of calling in sick, but she resolutely pushed it aside. She would have to face him eventually, and the sooner the better. Better that he didn't have any reason to call her coward.

A cry from Ella's room interrupted her relaxing, and Elizabeth hurriedly finished and threw her robe on to check on her daughter. Ella was standing up in her crib, and she let out a squeal at the sight of her mother. Elizabeth asked, "What is it, love?"

"Watah, mama," Ella said, pointing to the sipper cup of water that Elizabeth always kept on the dresser. Elizabeth retrieved it and handed it to her. The toddler drank happily and handed the cup back. Elizabeth asked, "Do you want anything else?" Ella shook her head and laid back down. Elizabeth covered her up with the blanket as the little girl grabbed her favorite stuffed bear and snuggled it under her chin.

Elizabeth stood stroking Ella's hair as the child fell back to sleep, and she was hit by a pang of sorrow that Mark wouldn't be around to see his baby grow up. It wasn't a new feeling, but with Romano's declaration fresh on her mind, it was particularly strong. Elizabeth indulged in a moment of self-pity, for herself and for Ella, herself for losing her husband, and Ella for losing her father. 'Ella could have a father,' a traitorous part of her mind whispered.

Elizabeth shook her head sharply and squashed the errant thought. This was ridiculous! She left Ella's room, still shaking her head. While it was true that she wanted Ella to have a father, Romano was the last person she would have considered for the job. 'Well,' she conceded, 'he'd be before Dale Edson.'

She automatically began comparing Romano to Mark, ticking off the points mentally. Mark had been easy to get along with, and Romano was anything but. Mark had been loving and gentle, Romano was brash, arrogant and unkind. And yet . . . there was an element of gentleness to him as well. Elizabeth had seen it first hand.

Elizabeth flopped into her bed and pulled the sheet up over herself as she snorted. It was hardly the basis for a relationship! The image of Romano's face sprang, unbidden, to her mind. She was unable to forget the look of hope that had been so naked in his expression after he had professed his feelings. She sighed.

She hadn't been merely trying to make him feel better when she had said she valued him as a friend, she truly did. No matter how he behaved to others, he had never been cruel to her. Caustic and rude, yes, but never cruel. Elizabeth rolled over restlessly. Just as she was wondering how long it would take her to fall asleep, she drifted off. 

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Elizabeth knew it was a dream immediately, and she struggled to stay asleep to savor it. Nimble fingers slid over her body, and she arched up to them. The night exploded into feeling. Her hands skated up a strong back, caressed broad shoulders. A voice came out of the darkness, "I love you, Elizabeth."

"Robert . . ."

Elizabeth jerked awake, the name dying away on her lips. She sat bolt upright and gasped. The dream had been intense, and disconcerting to say the least. Why was she dreaming about Romano? Apparently the theory that stress led to sexual dreams had some weight to it, but it was hardly what she needed. Shaking her head to clear it, she glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 1:30. Only an hour worth of sleep . . . Elizabeth slumped back down on the bed with a groan. It looked like it was going to be a long, difficult night.

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	5. Chapter 4

AN: Ok, this is the part where I reiterate that I am not a doctor. *cringes*

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"What have we got?" Elizabeth asked as paramedics pushed in a stretcher. Susan was straddling the boy's midsection, giving compressions.

"Seventeen year-old male," the paramedic said as Susan climbed off the stretcher and they transferred him to the bed already in the room, "Crushing trauma to the chest. His car hit an El support, and his chest hit the steering wheel on the way through the windshield. Wasn't wearing a seatbelt. We lost him en route a couple times, but we got him back."

"Any others?"

"Nope, he was alone in the car," one of the paramedics called as they left. Elizabeth swiftly checked for vital signs, "Pulse is tachy at 140, pupils are equal and non-reactive." There was a sudden blare from the monitor, and Susan called out, "He's in v-fib!" Carter came running in and Susan filled him in as Elizabeth called for the paddles, "Charge to 150. Clear!" The boy's body jolted, but there was no change in his rhythm. Susan started compressions again as Elizabeth said, "Push an amp of epi."

"He's probably got a pneumothorax," Carter said, "I need a chest tube tray." When one of the nurses handed it to him, he tore it open and went to work. Elizabeth said, "Charge to 200, clear!" When there was again no response, Susan resumed compressions. Carter got the chest tube in and bright red blood began oozing out. He looked at Elizabeth questioningly.

She said, "He probably tore his aorta. How long has he been down?"

Susan glanced at the clock, "30 minutes."

"That's it," Elizabeth said, snapping off her gloves, and glancing at the clock, "Time of death: 7:45. What a waste. Is there any I.D. on him?" Carter fished through the boy's pockets and pulled out a wallet. He flipped it open and pulled out the driver's license. His face drained of color as he whispered, "Oh no."

"What is it, Carter?" Susan asked.

"His name's Ben Romano."

"Well, that doesn't mean they're related does it?" Elizabeth asked, hoping that they didn't have to bring Romano into it.

"No, but this probably does," he said, handing the wallet to Elizabeth. It was flipped open to a picture. It showed Ben in a baseball uniform, bat slung over one shoulder. Romano was standing next to him, clearly proud. Carter said quietly, "I'll go get him." 

As Carter left, Susan said, "Do you think it was his son?" Elizabeth shook her head, "I don't think so, Robert has never mentioned having any children, but who knows. He's not exactly the talkative type." Suddenly, Luka pushed the door open and said, "Susan, we need you!" Susan looked at Elizabeth questioningly and Elizabeth said, "Go on, there's nothing more to do here." As Susan followed Luka out, Elizabeth retrieved a basin of water and towels, and started to clean the blood from the boy's face. 

Romano came running into the room and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of the body on the stretcher. In a shaking voice, he asked, "What happened?"

"Car accident. He was thrown from the vehicle. We did everything we could, Robert . . ."

Romano interrupted her as he came to stand on the other side of the stretcher, "Please, spare me the platitudes, Lizzie. I know the drill." He took one of the towels and started helping. He worked in silence for a moment before he spoke quietly, "He was my nephew. We were close. More like best friends than relatives. Lately, I noticed that he seemed to be falling in with a bad crowd at school. I'd talked to his parents about it, but I hadn't spoken to him."

He paused, and gave a mirthless bark of a laugh, "I didn't want it to come between us. I didn't want him to be one of those kids who can't stand their family. I was selfish, and now I'll never get the chance." He looked up, his eyes hollow, "Don't wait for something to happen in life, Elizabeth. Seize the moment. Seize the day, because you never know when it'll be too late." He turned and walked out.

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Elizabeth's ears rang with his words even after he had gone. Seize the moment, he had said. Don't wait. Yet, that was exactly what she was doing, wasn't it? Mark had died over a year ago, and she was still grieving. A nurse came in to take over, and Elizabeth left the trauma room, not paying much attention to where she was going, her mind awhirl. She found herself in the ER lounge and sank down on the sofa with a sigh.

'What do I want?' The question had been nagging at the back of her mind ever since Romano's declaration, and she had been unable to come up with an answer. Susan came into the room and noticed Elizabeth. She poured herself a cup of coffee and asked, "Did Romano come down?"

Elizabeth nodded, "Yes. The boy was his nephew."

"I never would have thought. He always just seemed like the kind of person who would be alone."

"I think that's what he wants us to think."

Susan shook her head, "No one deserves to be alone. Not even him."

She left and Elizabeth was left in the empty lounge once more, Susan's words echoing in her mind. 'No one deserves to be alone.' Suddenly, in a single moment of clarity, she realized exactly what she wanted. She wanted Romano.

Not the man who used sarcasm as a shield to keep people at bay, but the man beneath. The man he had allowed her a glimpse of that night at her house and innumerable other times. The man he kept carefully hidden behind a caustic façade. The sudden insight hit her with a force that frightened her, but also, she felt calmer than she had in a long time. She knew what to do.

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	6. Chapter 5

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Elizabeth came into the outer office and greeted Brenda and Shirley, "Is he in, Brenda?" The secretary nodded, as Shirley said, "But I wouldn't go in there if I were you. He's in a royally foul mood." Elizabeth gave her a reassuring smile and said, "Don't worry. I know what I'm getting into."

'Do I really?'

Shirley still looked dubious as Elizabeth knocked on the office door. She heard his terse, "Come in" and opened the door. Robert was bent over the desk, his back to the door, poring over paperwork. Now that she was actually in the office, Elizabeth didn't feel any of the nervousness she had been dreading. Rather, there was simply an overwhelming feeling that she was doing the right thing.

Time seemed to slow as she watched him. Little details sprang out at her. The subtle play of muscle under the fabric of his scrubs, his scent, a clean mix of aftershave and soap, the ticking of the clock on the wall, her own racing heart. When she didn't say anything to announce her presence, Robert glanced back over his shoulder.

A myriad of emotions crossed his face before he turned back to the papers on the desk. "Lizzie," he said flatly. Elizabeth heard the layers of hope and despair beneath the surface of his words. Before she could think twice, Elizabeth moved forward and embraced him. She wrapped both arms around his chest and laid her cheek against one shoulder. His body went rigid at her contact and his breath hitched in his chest. His hands clutched at the edge of the desk, his knuckles whitening. He started, "Wha . . .?" When it came out as a dry rasp, he tried again, "What do you think you're doing, Lizzie?"

"Something I should have done long ago," she murmured into his shoulder. The longer she held him, the more her remaining doubts leaked away.

"Lizzie, if . . ." he swallowed hard, his body still taut as a wire, "If this is some form of pity or out of a guilty conscience, then . . ."

"No, Robert," she said, stroking his chest gently, "It's neither of those. I've been doing some soul searching. I realized that this is what I want. Really, what I've wanted for a long time, if I'm honest. You said you love me. I wasn't sure how I feel. I'm still not completely sure, but what you said today changed things for me. I realized that I've been waiting. I've been waiting for something to happen to me ever since Mark died."

Her breath hitched a bit, and she paused, "Then, when something did happen, I didn't do anything about it. Robert, I'm tired of waiting for something to happen like I have no control over my life. I'm taking control." Romano had relaxed a fraction as she talked and he drew a shuddering breath. Almost to himself, he whispered, "How do I know that this is real?"

She slipped around in front of him and cradled his head between her hands. "Like this," she whispered and leaned in and kissed him. There were no fireworks, the floor didn't suddenly open up and swallow her whole, nothing so melodramatic. But, it was also nothing like she had expected. It was gentle and sweet, tentative even, almost asking for permission. His hands, shaking, came up to frame her face lightly.

He stayed still for a moment, trembling faintly, but suddenly, his reserve broke and he swept her into his arms and kissed her fiercely. When he broke the kiss, they were both more than a little breathless and she rested her forehead against his as she fought to get her breath back. He asked, "So, what do we do about the gossip mongers?"

She thought about it, and found she didn't really care. She shrugged and kissed him tenderly again, "Let them talk. We know the truth and that's all that matters."

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AN: I was originally intending to end this here, but my plot bunnies have ordered me to continue it through the events of season 9. If what I've done so far gets a favorable reception, I will continue. Let me know what I should do.


	7. Chapter 6

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**The next day**

"The next time you call for a surgical consult, please make sure that it is actually something that requires surgery!" Elizabeth snapped at the med student cowering in front of her. As the hapless student scurried away, Elizabeth dropped the chart in the rack at the Admit desk and sighed as she rubbed her temples with one hand. There was an ominous throbbing behind one eye that was threatening to turn into a full-blown headache.

"Glad to see my surgeons being put to good use!"

She heard Robert's drawl and turned to him with a smile. As he reached her, he leaned in with a grin and said so only she could hear, "And even happier to see that I'm rubbing off on you."

"Well, it's not an easy thing to avoid. You are a bad influence."

"I do try," he said, "How about we adjourn to somewhere a little less public?" Elizabeth glanced around the Admit area, noting the presence of no less than five desk staff and three doctors. "Good idea," she said as she followed him to the lounge. Once inside, he pulled her against him and leaned against the counter. He kissed her, "I missed you."

Elizabeth laughed, "Robert! I was gone for all of fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, it was torture," he sighed dramatically. He grinned mischievously, "So, I was thinking. How would you like to go to dinner tonight?"

Elizabeth's heart jumped up into her throat. A date. A date with Robert Romano. Just a short time ago, she would have found the idea repugnant, but now it was enticing. The disparity struck her as funny and she giggled. Robert put on a wounded expression, "You laugh? Lizzie, I'm hurt!" His tone was teasing, but Elizabeth could see a very real fear of rejection in his eyes. She kissed him reassuringly, "That sounds lovely, Robert." He brightened up instantly, "Great! When is your shift over?"

"Seven."

"How about 8:30 then?"

Elizabeth nodded and she giggled again. Robert's face took on an aggrieved look, and he said remonstratively, "You, know, Lizzie, laughing at inopportune moments like that could really do damage to a man's ego."

Elizabeth let her head fall forward and she laughed into his shoulder, "Oh, Robert, nothing could damage your ego!" He snickered along with her, "You do have a point." As she laughed, Elizabeth realized how good it felt to laugh with him. Something about Robert with his guard down just felt so natural.

Suddenly, the door opened. Elizabeth tried to back away, feeling uncomfortably like a teenager caught in the sudden glare of porch lights, but Robert tightened his grip on her waist, preventing her escape. Carter stood in the doorway, a momentarily nonplussed look on his face. Then, realization dawned and he grinned. Robert cleared his throat loudly, "What do you want, Carter?"

"We've got some major traumas rolling in and we need both of you. ETA is about 5 minutes, " Carter said, still grinning. He started to head out the door, but he stopped and turned back to them, "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I always hoped you two would get together." The door swung closed behind him and Elizabeth collapsed against Robert, laughing with relief. He chuckled, "I knew I liked that kid."

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"Time of death: 6:45."

Elizabeth pulled off her gloves and gown. The young man on the gurney had never had a chance. She looked through the window into the next trauma room where Robert was still working feverishly. He looked up and their eyes met. He shook his head and barked an order to a nurse.

Elizabeth sighed heavily. Two kids out for a joyride had plowed into the back of a SUV at a stoplight. No alcohol or drugs had been involved, just simple freakish chance and teenage foolishness. She watched as Robert stepped back from the table and ordered compressions stopped. He called time of death and stormed out of the trauma room, pulling off gloves and gown as he went.

Elizabeth caught up with him at the Admit desk. He angrily spat, "When will kids ever learn? They know what's gonna happen to them and they still think they're invincible!" He seemed to deflate a little, and sighed, "How's the other family?"

"They're fine. Minor injuries, one case of whiplash, and a concussion, I believe." She glanced at the clock, "Robert, it's 7, let's get out of here. I just need to call my nanny to see if she can stay longer to watch Ella."

"All right, I'll go and grab my stuff. Shall I get yours too?" he asked. She nodded and fished her keys out of her pocket. She handed them over and Robert headed for the elevators.

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	8. Chapter 7

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When Robert got back to the Admit desk, Elizabeth was waiting for him, her expression troubled. "Kris can't stay with Ella," she said apologetically as they left, "I'm afraid I won't be able to join you for dinner tonight."

"We don't have to go out."

"Excuse me?"

"I would love to be properly introduced to Ella. We could eat in," he paused, "Assuming that it's not too presumptuous of me."

"You, presumptuous?" Elizabeth laughed. He chuckled along with her, "I do have a reputation to maintain. So, what do you say?"

"But what will we have? About all I have at the house is baby food and what little else I have isn't enough for two."

He gave her a roguish wink and a grin, "Never fear, my dear, I'll come prepared. I'd be willing to bet that you didn't know I can cook. I'll whip up something that will make your tastebuds sing."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'd be amazed at your list of abilities?"

"Oh, absolutely! The list is long and impressive," he laughed. They reached Elizabeth's car. She asked, "So, what are you going to cook?" He shook his head admonishingly. "I don't think so, Lizzie," he said, "You're just going to have to wait and see."

He blew her a kiss and walked off toward his Jaguar, whistling cheerfully. Elizabeth smiled to herself as she watched his retreating figure. The man certainly never failed to surprise her.

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Elizabeth had just finished bathing Ella when the doorbell rang. Trying to restrain a silly grin, and knowing she was failing, she went to answer it. Robert was there, holding a bulging bag of food. She ushered him in and they went into the kitchen. As Robert set the bag down, Elizabeth felt a small weight impact behind her knee.

Glancing down, she saw Ella trying simultaneously to hide behind her legs and trying to get a good look at this intruder in her home. Elizabeth seized the opportunity to introduce them and gently took Ella's hand. She crouched down and tugged the little girl in front of her. "Ella, this is Robert," she said encouragingly.

Robert crouched down as well and said, "Hello, Ella." The child simply stared at him for a long moment, her eyes wide and her thumb in her mouth. Suddenly, she turned and ran from the room. Elizabeth watched her go, and when she turned back to Robert, her heart twisted at the look on his face.

There was an intense look of longing in his eyes that was painful to see. She took his hand and said, reassuringly, "Don't worry about it, Robert. She's just a little afraid of strangers right now. I'm sure she'll come around."

Robert stood, pulling Elizabeth to her feet in one fluid motion. He said with a rueful smile, "Why don't you go and check on her. Make sure I didn't frighten her too badly. I'll get started here."

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On the way back down the stairs from putting Ella to bed, a delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen greeted Elizabeth. She came back into the kitchen and Robert asked, "How is she?"

"She's fine," Elizabeth replied, "She asked about a thousand questions about you, and went to sleep."

"Oh good, I was afraid I made a bad first impression."

"So," she asked, "are you ever going to tell me what it is that you're making?"

"Actually, it doesn't have a name," he explained as he worked, "My mother made it up years ago and it quickly became a family favorite. When I moved out, she made sure that I knew how to cook and this was one of the things she taught me."

As they chatted, Elizabeth watched him work, retrieving needed utensils as he asked for them. He moved with the same surety of purpose that characterized his surgeries. He was in his element and completely comfortable.

Afterwards, they were talking in the living room. Robert was telling her about a mishap that had happened when he was a resident that had involved an intubation kit and a sleeping student when he trailed off, looking over her shoulder.

Elizabeth turned to see Ella standing in the doorway holding her favorite stuffed bear. As she watched, the child walked slowly over to Robert and stood in front of him. She regarded him solemnly, her eyes wide and her thumb in her mouth.

Robert didn't move, in fact, he seemed to have stopped breathing, as if Ella were some ethereal creature that might vanish at the slightest provocation. Suddenly, the toddler moved forward and clambered up into Robert's lap. She snuggled her head underneath his chin and relaxed against him. He brought a trembling hand up and gently smoothed her tousled blond hair. He let out a ragged breath and looked up at Elizabeth. He mouthed, "Thank you," and closed his eyes.

Elizabeth felt a prickle of tears behind her eyes and blinked to clear them. The scene was heart-breakingly poignant. This was what she had been looking for, waiting for. For the first time in a long time, Elizabeth felt complete.

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	9. Chapter 8

AN: From here on out, it starts to follow the events of season 9. Where necessary, I have lifted quotes from the show and altered them only slightly, if at all. This is not intended as plagiarism, but rather an attempt at synchronicity.

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**Two days later**

Elizabeth sighed happily as she pushed the button for the elevator. She had been paged in on her day off for a grueling surgery and she was exhausted. She readjusted Ella on her hip and asked, "Are you ready to go home, love?"

The toddler nodded and as the doors opened, she squealed and threw her arms out at the elevator. Puzzled as to the cause of her daughter's delight, Elizabeth turned back and saw Robert smiling back at her. He pushed the hold button as he stepped off the elevator and greeted Ella, "Hey, squirt!"

Ella squealed again and launched herself at him. Robert caught her and ruffled her hair affectionately. "And hello to you too, Lizzie," he said as Ella began a sing-song chant of his name, "I thought this was your day off."

Elizabeth nodded ruefully, "It was. They needed me for a surgery, so I had to come in. I just want to go home and go to sleep."

Robert handed Ella back and kissed Elizabeth, "I'll see you later then."

As she stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button to close the doors, Elizabeth was struck by a sudden overwhelming feeling that something terrible was going to happen. It sent goosebumps up her arms and neck and she shook her head sharply. 'Ridiculous,' she thought, 'What could possibly happen?'

__________ 

Robert paced his office nervously. Word had come up from the ER about a possible smallpox case. There had been a small riot in the ER, and the hospital had been ordered into lockdown mode to prevent the spread of the disease. All patients were being transferred to other facilities, save those who had been in direct contact with the infected children. Reporters were clamoring for information and the CDC was swarming the building.

In short, it was a madhouse, and Robert was grateful for the oasis of calm his office provided. The one saving grace about the whole affair was that Weaver had been shut out of the ER when the lockdown had been put in place. He allowed himself a grin at the thought of how much it must be rankling her to have to stand idly by in such a situation. 

Robert paused by the desk, his hand hovering over the phone for a moment before he snatched it back. As much as he was tempted to call Elizabeth, he knew it would be better if she didn't worry. He knew she'd probably be furious at not being told, but better that she was angry with him than that she somehow found her way into the hospital and was exposed to the disease.

There was a knock at the door and it opened to reveal a nurse. "Dr. Romano," she said, "the diabetic sepsis is ready to be moved. ETA for the chopper is five minutes." Robert grabbed his scrub coat and threw it on as he followed her out the door. Yes, better that Elizabeth didn't know about all of this until it was over.

When they reached the roof with the patient, they found Kovac and Lewis already there with a patient of their own. Robert yelled over the noise of the landing chopper, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

Kovac yelled back that his patient was more critical and Robert fired back his own patients stats, their voices barely audible over the thumping of the helicopter blades. Robert started forward to the chopper when he heard Kovac's voice, "He's about to lose his airway!"

Damn the man, but he was persistent! Robert shouted back, "So intubate him and take him in your Viper!"

"Arguing like this isn't going to help anything!" Susan yelled.

"You know, you're right!" Robert said, in a tone that declared the end of the conversation, "You can use the chopper after I'm done with it!"

The nurse called out that the patient's temp was rising, and Robert barked an order for more meds as the wind from the chopper blades blew the clipboard off the bed and he bent down to pick it up.

He grabbed up the chart and straightened, the sound of the rotor next to his ear registering a moment too late. He felt the sudden impact on his bicep, and a curious weightless sensation as his upper arm was thrown up into the air by the force of the blow. 

He looked bemusedly down at his left arm . . . unable to fathom why it suddenly was no longer there.

His knees gave out and he went down, collapsing onto the roof. As if from a great distance, he heard Kovac and Lewis shouting and their running steps. He knew he should be at least concerned about what was happening, but he found he couldn't bring himself to care very much.

Everything seemed to slow down and he felt as if he was floating. It was a singularly appealing sensation, and Robert wished it could last. A detached, clinical part of his mind blithely observed that he was in shock.

Robert, just as blithely, informed that detached part of his mind just exactly what it could go do with itself.

As Lewis and Kovac reached him, an odd prickling heat began in what felt like, impossibly, the fingers of his left hand, and suddenly, the pain roared in full-force, coursing through his veins like molten fire. Robert tried to scream, but all he could manage was a muffled whimper.

He could blearily make out Kovac and Lewis bending over him. They were shouting and he tried to listen, but it was too difficult to hear over the noise of the chopper, the pulse roaring in his ears, and the searing, agonizing pain.

His stomach revolted, as much from the smell of the blood spattered all over his body as from the shock of the injury. Robert felt Kovac rolling him onto his right side and he vomited. A curious tightening sensation on what was left of his arm told him that they were improvising a tourniquet as an icy wave swept over him, leaving him drained and shaking. "Cold . . ." he whispered, "So cold . . ." He watched dispassionately as a spray of his blood hit Susan in the chest. 'I'm bleeding to death,' Robert realized with a frightening lack of reaction.

'Elizabeth, I'm sorry . . .'

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	10. Chapter 9

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Elizabeth found Kerry standing in the ambulance bay, surrounded by police and curious onlookers. Shifting Ella to her other hip, she asked, "What's going on, Kerry?"

Weaver shrugged, "I'm not sure. They're saying something about a smallpox outbreak, but they won't let me in. Carter's been asking for you though."

"Yeah, he paged me," Elizabeth said, puzzled, "Apparently it was urgent. Did he say anything to you about what it might be?" Before Kerry could answer, there was a sudden squawk of static from the radio on her hip. Carter's tinny voice came through, ". . . rday. Is she there yet, Dr. Weaver?"

Kerry handed over the radio. Elizabeth took it and spoke into it, "Carter? What is it?"

"It's Dr. Romano," he said, his voice interspersed with static, " . . . chopper on the roof. He's losing blood fast . . ."

Elizabeth felt her blood run cold. Before she had time to think, she handed Ella to Kerry with a bare apology and ran for the doors. She heard the police shouting after her, but Kerry, didn't wasted time and held them back, "Let her go, she's a doctor. She knows the risk."

As she ran in, Elizabeth looked around wildly, her pulse pounding in her ears. The ER was eerily quiet and seemed unnatural. Suddenly, Carter burst out of the trauma room. As he ran over to her, she noticed the white mask covering his face, and she wondered if he had been exposed to the small pox. When he reached her, she demanded, "What in God's name happened, Carter? Where is he?"

"Luka brought him down from the roof," Carter explained, "He said that Dr. Romano was bending over to pick up a chart and when he stood up, the tail rotor of the helicopter severed his arm." He paused, his eyes full of sympathy and pain, "He's hurt badly, Elizabeth. They're doing everything they can, but he . . . he may not make it."

"Oh God . . ."

Elizabeth barely recognized the hoarse croak as her own voice as she bolted mechanically past Carter and ran for the trauma room. She heard him running after her, explaining about paging her as soon as he had heard, but Elizabeth only listened to him with half an ear, her attention focused on the still form on the bed and Luka working frantically.

Robert was deathly pale, spattered with blood. She ran to his side and grabbed his right hand. She shied away from looking at what remained of his left arm, instead focusing on his ashen face.

Luka looked up, seemingly surprised to find her there. He started, "Dr. Corday, what . . ."

Carter interrupted, "She and Dr. Romano are together, Luka."

"Ah," Luka said simply, the simple word full of compassion and understanding. He said to Elizabeth, "You can talk to him."

Her voice breaking, Elizabeth whispered, "I'm here, Robert. I'm here." Her heart leapt up into her throat as Robert's eyes fluttered and he moaned. He opened his eyes, and groaned hoarsely before closing them again, "Ohh, I'm at County . . ."

Elizabeth caressed his cheek, "Robert?"

"Lizzie . . ." he opened his eyes again and focused on her. He whispered, "Lizzie, I'm sorry . . ." He coughed, "I love you . . ."

Elizabeth suddenly knew that he was saying goodbye, and she whispered fiercely, "No, Robert! Don't you dare say that. You are not going to die!" His eyes fluttered closed again and Elizabeth's heart nearly stopped until Luka said, "It's all right, he's just unconscious."

Anspaugh came running into the room and did a double take at the sight of Elizabeth. Recovering, he said, "The replantation team is ready to go. Have we got the arm?" Elizabeth had to look away as Carter held up a plastic bag full of bloody ice. As they wheeled Robert to the elevator, Elizabeth held onto his hand, unwilling to release him until she had to.

Finally, she had to let go and as the doors closed, the adrenaline that had been racing through her system vanished, leaving her feeling weak and drained. Her knees buckled, but before she could hit the floor, a pair of strong arms caught her. She looked up gratefully at Carter as he guided her to a nearby chair.

Suddenly, she remembered, "Ella! I left her outside with Kerry!" Luka nodded, "You stay here, I'll go get her." As he left, Elizabeth asked Carter, "What about the smallpox?"

"It was contained to the suture room. I was exposed," he said, pointing to his mask, "so I'd better get out of here before he brings Ella in."

Elizabeth held out her hand to him and he took it. She said warmly, "Thank you, Carter. For everything you've done."

The corners of the mask twitched upward as he smiled, "Hey, it was no problem, but you're welcome."

He left and Elizabeth sat alone for a moment until Luka came back with Ella. The little girl squealed at seeing her mother and began thrashing to be put down. When Luka complied, she dashed to Elizabeth and clambered up on her lap.

Ella noticed Elizabeth's tears and asked, "Mama sad?"

Elizabeth choked back a sob, "Yes, love."

"Why?"

"There was an accident," she said as gently as she could, "Robert was hurt very badly."

"Wob ok?" Ella asked. Elizabeth hugged her daughter to her as she said, "I don't know, love. I hope so." She wondered how she could reassure the child when she couldn't even reassure herself.

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	11. Chapter 10

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Elizabeth had no idea how she had managed to fall asleep, but the next thing she knew, Luka was shaking her gently. Ella was cradled on her lap, sound asleep. Elizabeth stifled a yawn as Luka said, "Dr. Anspaugh just came down and said that the surgery is over and that Dr. Romano is in Recovery."

Elizabeth stood carefully, trying to keep Ella sleeping and said, "Thank you, Luka. For everything." He smiled at her warmly and laid a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, "You're welcome. Don't lose hope, Dr. Corday. Everything will turn out all right."

She thanked him again and headed upstairs. When she reached Recovery, she saw that Anspaugh was already there, checking Robert's chart. The surgeon looked up as she entered and greeted her. She asked, "How is he, Donald?"

"All things considered, remarkably well," Anspaugh said as Elizabeth laid Ella down on the empty bed next to Robert's, "The surgery went well and the anesthesia should wear off in a few hours. Transport will be here soon to take him to Mercy."

"Thank you, Donald. For everything," Elizabeth said, embracing the older surgeon.

"Dr. Kovac told me about you and Robert, Elizabeth," he said, "and I must say that I am glad of it. Robert has a difficult road ahead of him and that road will be infinitely easier if he has someone to travel it with."

After Anspaugh left, she pulled up a chair on the right side of Robert's bed. She took his hand in her own and pressed the back of it to her cheek. She said, "Robert, it's Elizabeth. Ella and I are here with you." He squeezed her hand weakly and tears sprang to Elizabeth's eyes.

She looked at his left arm for the first time and was shocked at how normal it looked. It was completely covered by a white cast and looked as if the am had simply been badly broken rather than severed. Tears slid silently down Elizabeth's face as the enormity of what had happened settled over her. She folded her arms on the side of the bed, laid her head down and wept.

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Elizabeth had no idea how long she had been sitting by Robert's bedside. The steady whoosh of the respirator and the beeping of the monitors had lulled her into a kind of half doze. When Anspaugh came in and laid a hand on her shoulder, Elizabeth jumped, badly startled. Anspaugh gave her an apologetic smile and said, "The helicopter is here to take him to Mercy."

Elizabeth tried for a wry smile, but it felt more like a grimace, "It's a good thing he's still out. I can't imagine that he'd be too eager to go back near one of those things."

"I didn't think he would be," Anspaugh said as he raised the rails on the side of the bed, "but with the ER possibly contaminated by an infectious disease and he having just had major surgery, air transport is just about the only option."

Two paramedics came in as they were talking and started wheeling Robert out to the elevators. Elizabeth gathered up Ella, thanked Anspaugh and followed. When they reached the roof, Elizabeth was doubly grateful that Robert wasn't aware of his surroundings.

The thumping of the chopper - she mentally cringed away from the term - blades was deafening and all she could think of was what had happened, each feverish imagining more lurid and grotesque than the last.

Elizabeth was thankful when, once they were aboard, Ella awoke and became fascinated by the view from the windows. It allowed her to focus on something besides her fears. After what seemed like an interminable period, though judging by Ella's squeal of dismay it was entirely too short, they landed on the roof of Mercy.

What followed was a whirlwind of movement and questions from assorted doctors and nurses and before she knew it, Elizabeth found herself sitting next to Robert's bed in his room with no clear idea of how she had gotten there. Ella was curled up on a large chair in the corner, sound asleep. Elizabeth yawned, glancing at the clock. 4:45 am.

She checked Robert over, knowing that the nurses would have done a thorough job, but needing to know for herself. She yawned again, feeling as if her face were splitting. Mentally resigning herself to a crick in her neck in the morning, Elizabeth folded her arms on the edge of the bed and fell asleep just as she was wondering how long it would take.

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Elizabeth woke to Robert's hand brushing the side of her face. She caught his hand in her own and pressed a kiss to his palm. He gave her a weak smile and whispered, "Hello, Lizzie . . ." He coughed and Elizabeth reached for the glass of water on the table next to the bed.

She held the straw to his lips and he managed a few sips before letting his head fall back to the pillow. "How long have you been here?" he asked.

Elizabeth glanced at the clock, "Only a few hours." He glanced at the cast on his arm with a grimace. "Not very attractive is it?"

Elizabeth gave a disbelieving laugh that nearly became a sob, "I much prefer it to any of the alternatives."

He looked away for a moment, and when he met her eyes again, his were suspiciously wet, "Lizzie, I . . ." He swallowed hard, "All I could think about on that roof was you and Ella, and that I would never . . ."

Elizabeth blinked back the tears pricking at her eyes, "It's all right, Robert. Ella and I are both here and we're not going anywhere."

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End file.
